Memories
by Arashana
Summary: Throughout the battle, Cloud's old memories come back to haunt him. AU


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the song or the characters.

**Warnings:** Character death, necrophilia; Sephiroth/Cloud

**Song** – Who Want to Live Forever by Queen

The Masamune lay there, still in the grip, now slack of its dead master, cursing its entire existence upon the people who had touched it, caressing its sole wielder lovingly while striking everyone else vehemently, daring anyone to try and touch the gleaming tip of the blade, which sparkled as bright as the broken glass in the grass in front of a toddler's feet, waiting to cause pain.

Cloud stared at Sephiroth's still body, panting heavily from the fight and covered in both his and Sephiroth's blood, dark and crimson, mingling into his sweat and creating a pungent odor. It had been a tiresome battle, both of skill and wit, which left Cloud both mentally and physically exhausted.

_**There's no time for us,  
>There's no place for us...<strong>_

Tifa hesitantly walked toward Cloud, and with every step, her boots thumped, echoing loudly in the silence that had ensued after the struggle to destroy Sephiroth.

"Are…are you okay?" She asked hesitantly, her rich brown eyes filled with pity, compassion, and a slight hint of worry.

Cloud couldn't, or wouldn't, hear what is fried was trying to say. His mind was drowning in his thoughts, with thoughts of the battle replaying over and over in his mind, until he felt a warm hand touch his shoulder gently. He jumped, startled, before turning around. But when he saw her eyes, the eyes that expressed her love and pity and compassion…he averted his eyes away, as if he were ashamed, or...was it something else?

"Don't…don't look at me with those eyes. I…I don't want your pity, or anything."

Tifa's eyes widened in surprise. On the entire journey, Cloud had never had any regrets about killing his enemies, or if he did, he never showed it to anyone. But to show so much emotion and allow himself to become so vulnerable from a single battle...

"Did you know…h-he said…he loved me? Never knew someone so cold-hearted could actually...think...o-or say..." He choked on his words, a torrent of bile forcing its way up his throat and crystalline drops of water threatening to spill from his eyes. He grimaced, and swallowed uncomfortably.

_**What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?**_

Cloud crouched near Sephiroth, and picked up the lifeless form, gathering the folds of cloth into his fists and cradled the body almost lovingly. Masamune lingered in Sephiroth's hand almost desperately before clattering to the floor, unable to hold onto the loose grip. It fell to the floor with a soft thump, with its use finally exhausted up, and seemed to acknowledge its master's defeat, and consequently, its own defeat.

_**But touch my tears with your lips  
>Touch my world with your fingertips<strong>_

Cloud lifted one of his hands and wiped off some of the grim on the man's face, before bowing his head down to capture the same taste of blood that was on his clothes on the very lips that had taunted Cloud's existence mere minutes ago, and Cloud's lips, mouth, face filled with the blood, mimicking the actions of a vampire. The blood almost seemed like a lifeline to Cloud, the only thing that still connected him with the man that had died not minutes ago.

If anyone else had tasted Sephiroth's blood at that time, they would have considered it to be salty and bitter, and just like what they considered blood to taste like. But to Cloud, it was unique, maybe even good, because it was Sephiroth's. He raised his head after the blood exchange; his mouth tainted with the blood, and looked at Tifa.

"W-what…What are you doing?" She was visibly shaken at what Cloud had just done, and her body was trembling. "You're…you're just out of your mind right now...Don't…d-don't…"

_Don't what? Kiss someone who's already dead, and then defile myself by touching myself with his blood? You think I'm disgusting, don't you? Even after all those people we saw, even though you kept telling me that the world was imperfect...You still never classified me as one of those 'imperfections', did you?_

No matter how much Tifa, or Zack, or anyone else, could try and console him, they would never know what he had just undergone. He was the only one who had lost anything…and everything that ever meant something to him. All this from something that had started as a fling in the darkness of the first class SOLDIER's bedroom...

_**There's no chance for us,  
>it's all decided for us.<br>The world only has one sweet moment set away for us...**_

"Are you sure about this?" Cloud asked, a knot of anxiety forming in his stomach. While homosexuality was accepted within the barracks, no matter what the circumstances, it was forbidden to have a relationship, as it would distract from the training and the goal of Shinra – to protect the Lifestream.

"Trust me." The silver-haired man snorted nonchalantly, before allowing himself to peck Cloud quickly on the side of his cheek. "I doubt they keep track of everything during missions. As long as we get our job done, they won't care."

"…So, let's just say that our mission just happens to be in a city that has a Moon Festival. So could we just happen to be in the festival during our mission?" Cloud grinned hopefully.

"...We'll see."

Who dares to love forever?

"Tifa...Have you really ever thought about me? About who I _really_am?"

Tifa, still dazed from what she had just saw, snapped her head and nodded faintly. "You're…Cloud. You used to be a loudmouth cocky idiot just like Zack...But you've changed. You really care about the world, and you really care about your friends, not just hi-"

"But...Is that really who I am, or is it who you think I am?"

_**When love must die...**_

_"Finally, we meet."_ _Cloud scowled. After years of searching for the man who had abandoned Shinra in favor of restoring his 'mother', attempting to take over the world, and to mess with Cloud's memory along the way, he had finally found him. Sephiroth was standing, or rather, floating, near the Lifestream, and wearing the same smirk he had always worn all those years ago. Only this time, the smirk held the air of victory, as if it was already too late._

How dare you mess with my mind. I'm not a specimen of your precious Jenova. I know who I am, and my flesh is real. I can stand strong.

_"I was searching for you as well._**" **_Sephiroth looked at Cloud with disdain, but his tone of voice betrayed him, nearly faltering at the last syllable, with almost a sense of longing, before regaining the voice that almost reeked of sneering. "Where are your little slaves?"_

"They're not my slaves!" Cloud spat. "They're my friends, and they're fighting off your little clones."

"Ah…Well, that's a shame. I so wish I could have had more time with him."

"You can't convince me of your sincerity with your false words. From the moment you left, I knew you were going to turn from us."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Then tell me, Cloud how sincere this is –

_Tell me what you cherish the most, and give me the pleasure of taking it away."_

_"I'll never tell you what I cherish most!" Cloud yelled angrily, his hand tight on his sword._

_**But touch my tears with your lips  
>Touch my world with your fingertips<strong>_

Suddenly, Sephiroth vanished, leaving behind only a hazy shadow of himself that was already disappearing. Cloud tensed as he felt the tip of a feather brushing over his arm and hot breath ghosting over his neck, making Cloud shiver. His neck was a sensitive spot, and Sephiroth, never one to forget about weaknesses, always took advantage of the fact and had attacked his neck relentlessly, forcing Cloud to wear his collar just a

little_bit higher after an 'encounter' with him._

"Or…maybe the thing, excuse me, person, you treasure most…is me?" Sephiroth mused, and smirked triumphantly when he was rewarded with the stiffening of the blond's back.

"Well, this is quite the dilemma…killing myself would certainly hinder my plans of conquering the world, but it might be worth it to see the anguish on your face...Your eyes filling with tears as your realize that your most precious person was killed, and that you were the one tha-"

"SHUT UP!" Roaring, he suddenly didn't care about the tactics of battle, or the fact that he knew that Sephiroth was taunting him only to blind him with anger and more liable to careless movements. He twisted the upper half of his body, almost pivoting as he swung his buster sword to the area behind him, his swing backed only by brute force.

"This is payback for leaving me!"

Sephirothdodged, but Cloud suddenly jerked his sword upward. The sword nicked him in the leg, and Sephiroth cussed before landing back on the ground and clashing Cloud's sword with his own. The Buster Sword wavered in its owner's grip, before the grip tightened, and the sword remained firmly in his hand, but before Cloud could retaliate, he felt a two fingers dig right into the hollow area above his collarbone, and choked as the palm continued to press harder, and strong fingers wrapping around the rest of his neck, nearly bringing him to unconsciousness as he struggled to pull in oxygen.

Before he was about to faint, though, the hand loosened its hold on him, and the blond staggered back reflexively, seeing his parts of his life flash before his eyes. Oddly enough, most of those parts consisted of Sephiroth.

I…don't get it…How can he affect me this much…?

_Cloud held back a strangled cough, and glared at Sephiroth. The silver-haired man had moved back a few feet, and when he saw Cloud's glare, glanced sideways, before saying almost arrogantly, "Just be glad I didn't want to finish you off." Then he smirked, and then raised his sword again, prepared to fight again._

_**And we can have forever**_

The fight seemed to take an eternity. Cloud wasn't sure whether it was because they were evenly matched, or because they were both holding back for fear of hurting the other. The adrenaline in Cloud's body that had been so eager to fight seemed like it had abandoned him, and every muscle seemed to ache. But he still kept fighting, keeping more on the defense than offense.

Sephiroth, after a particularly nasty wound to the shoulder, leaned on his sword, looking as if he was making an effort not to breathe too heavily.

"This battle will obviously never end. How about…a deal?"

Cloud looked at Sephiroth suspiciously. "What kind of deal?"

"A last stand-off. No holding back."

Cloud stared at Sephiroth both incredulously.

What is that bastard up to? He looks as tired as I am, but he's still got that cocky smile on his face...And what does he mean, 'no holding back'? _Cloud twisted his face into a scowl of determination_.

_"Alright. But on my count."_

Sephiroth's smirk widened even more. "Whatever you say."

Both men steadied themselves, about fifteen away from each other. Cloud furrowed his brow in concentration, determined to do this, this one last fight, to see who would live...and who would die.

"1…2…3!"

Cloud charged, forcing all of his adrenaline into his steps and his forearms for his attack. It seemed to take forever for him to reach Sephiroth, but when he did, he raised his sword and aimed in the general direction of Sephiroth's heart, almost expecting to be blocked.

To his surprise, his sword met no resistance other than the armor and cloth, and suddenly dug into soft flesh. Cloud's ears were met with the sickening crunch of bones.

_"But…Isn't this what...you wanted…for payback?" And Sephiroth smiled at him. One of the purest, most sincere smiles Cloud had ever seen from him. A smile that seemed to express everything – pain, raw anguish, and what Cloud had been looking for the whole time – acceptance and love._

_And with that, Sephiroth chest stopped moving, and his eyes closed for the final time._

_**Forever is our today  
>Who wants to live forever?<strong>_

How did you know that you would still plague my memories?

Cloud thought as he held Sephiroth, his face still in the stoic manner that he had always worn while he was alive. By the time he had finished reliving the memory, Tifa had gone elsewhere. Whether it was in search for a help, a mental doctor, Zack, or anything else, Cloud thought he would never know.

As if he had been just born again, the concept of death no longer meant anything to him. In his mind, 'death' had just become another important word that he should remember, but couldn't. His mind grasped futilely at the word, trying to comprehend the meaning of it and why it might be important. It might as well have meant the same thing as his own name.

Then it happened. In all his years, he never really thought somebody's heart could rip, ripped up into so many pieces that it would only be a pool of blood. He knew pain and suffering, but none like the painful realization that hit him so hard this night. It all happened too fast, too soon. He felt like his heart was being ripped apart from the inside, and felt a burning sensation that was both hot and cold, around his entire body. His eyes stung, his wounds burned, his skin prickled…and yet…he couldn't feel anything at all.

Cloud blindly felt around, searching for coming to cure him of his pain, his incoherency, and a way to know what 'death' truly meant...His hand came in contact with cold metal. He gripped it tight, as tight as he could at the moment, and savoured the relief that it brought him. He needed more, more it to soothe his aches. For now, he could care less if the world had fallen and it was only him and the dead body that was draped across his lap, all he could think of was one thing…

_Guess I'll see you in hell…_

_**Who wants to live forever anyway?**_

When Tifa had come back with Zack to knock some sense into Cloud, he was already dead, his body mutilated horribly. The only undamaged part of his body was his right hand, which clung to Sephiroth's right hand as well - unwilling to let go, even after death.


End file.
